Having to deal with the pain of infidelity while in a relationship is one of the most heartbreaking situations one will need to experience.
But can you imagine just how difficult it is for someone to deal with this cruel issue while also having to deal with some other challenges brought about by getting forced to stay home because of the Corona Virus?
For some people, this could be the least of their concerns, especially if they have partners who are normal human beings, are not Narcissists, and are not cheating behind their spouse’s back.
But to all those who are suffering from the issues of infidelity while being in a strict quarantine situation, I’d like you all to know that I hear you.
You Are Not Alone
You may be thinking that nobody hears you and nobody feels your pain.
Please know that you’re wrong.
You’re not alone.
There are people like myself who completely understand how you feel.
We feel your pain.
We know your fears.
And we can see how dark your vision is right now.
But please hang on.
Don’t waste your life.
You will get through this.
Someone Has Gone Through What You’re Going Through
I was once in that situation some time ago.
Infidelity issue is something that is very difficult to accept and handle.
I felt like I was dying everyday.
And I wasn’t even in a quarantine situation that time so I could go out, I could go to work and drown myself from getting busy.
So I know how even more challenging it is for you now to experience the pain while being forced to be idle at home because of this pandemic.
The pain could make you lose your sanity.
But please don’t let the pain take away your chance to a better future.
Because, I promise, this, too, shall pass.
One Thing I Did In Order to Ease the Pain of Infidelity
When I was in the middle of that same struggle a few months back, I turned to some people other than my family and friends.
I did that because I came to a realization that what I was going through was really different, and I knew that not a lot of people from my circle would understand.
I experienced a very brutal infidelity scenario because my ex-partner wasn’t normal.
Only someone who has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) could do whatever my ex-partner did to me that time.
It was very cruel.
And because of that realization, I was forced to accept the fact that the help I was looking for couldn’t be provided by the people close to me.
So I searched for the answers on my own, which led me into discovering and learning so much more.
My search helped me understand what happened to me.
And understanding played a very important role why I was able to move on so much faster than I expected.
That certain understanding was the only thing I ever needed in order to get closure; something that nobody — most especially my ex-partner — would never ever give me.
I escaped my life’s biggest tragedy by simply reaching out to people who have experienced the same in their lives.
Their experiences made me feel that I was not the only one.
Stay Away From People Who Underestimate Your Problem
Most of the time, turning to the wrong people are more harmful than helpful.
Especially if these are the people who would just simply say,
“You should just let go.”
“Stop thinking about it.”
“Learn to move on.”
“There are plenty of men/women out there.”
“It’s not that bad after all.”
People who underestimate your problems don’t provide any value.
It only shows that they don’t care so much about you, that’s why it’s easy for them to speak as if you don’t have any feelings and any sense of history.
They don’t know how to put themselves in your situation.
Stay away from them because underestimating your problem won’t help you find the cure.
Instead, be honest enough to express how you feel.
Seek to understand what happened instead of letting someone dictate what happened to you.
Cry if you must.
Hate if you must.
And if doing something would make your mind less confused, do it by all means.
At this point in your life, you don’t need to be pacified.
What you need is to be told about the most hurtful truth.
The truth that would wake you up from dreaming with all the lies.
Find Closure By Making a Decision
I was thankful to God for allowing me to find some people who helped me understand what I was going through.
They helped me achieve the closure I’ve been looking for and they’re not even my friends.
I got closure even without speaking with the person who caused me pain.
I achieved peace even without the need to beg for it.
All I needed to do was understand everything.
When I understood a lot about Narcissism, it was enough for me to finally decide what I wanted to do with my life — I wanted freedom from all these bullsh*t.
I declared myself free the moment I surrendered to face the reality.
That’s when I accepted that there’s really nothing I could do to fix things because my ex-partner really did not have any intentions of making things work for us.
Everything was just about manipulation, taking control, and tearing me down into pieces.
So I made a decision to stop holding on to something that kills me.
And instead, I chose myself.
So now I’m far from how I used to live.
My skies are so much clearer because nobody can inflict the same pain anymore.
My abuser doesn’t have any effects on me anymore because I learned to accept that he never existed in the first place — same goes with the fake love that he offered me.
And all these things I learned from random people who did not think twice upon sharing their own stories, no matter how shameful.
Healing Is a Journey
It may sound easy but, of course, we all know that the journey wouldn’t be a breeze.
The journey could be painstakingly long, but it would be one of the best journeys you would ever have, especially once you’ve reached the end of it.
Because the end of that journey would be the beginning of a better life.
Trust me, the same would be true to you so please fight harder.
Don’t ever lose it.
To help you with the healing journey, one suggestion I could give is for you to join an online community to connect with people who may have experienced the same so you can hear from them.
You can learn from their stories that your story wasn’t unique after all.
There are many Facebook Groups that you could find which cater to these themes.
Apart from that, you can also watch videos on YouTube that deal with the topic of infidelity.
You can listen to true stories shared by brave individuals who were once in the same situation and are now willing to help couples to either salvage the relationship or just let go.
So take this whole home quarantine situation as your chance to research and have more time for yourself while you heal and get over this difficult time.
Reach Out to Other Survivors
Today is the best time to reach out.
You are not alone.
There are many like us who have experienced so much and we can help each other.
I survived the brutality of my previous experiences with the help of other people from different parts of the world and now I’m returning the favor by spreading hope that there’s a better tomorrow waiting for us, the victims of this very traumatic experience.
My desire to help and connect with other people in order to provide hope led me into building this website and my Piece of Mind Facebook Page.
Although I tend to cover a lot of topics, my works are also mainly dedicated to spreading hope post the traumatic experiences brought about by Narcissistic Abuse and Infidelity.
Everyday, I’m inspired to share thoughts about moving on, being strong, loving yourself, and loving your new life.
And I hope that I get to help some people who are in need in my own little ways because the same things helped me when I needed help the most.
Stay strong and keep safe!