I’m sharing my own insights on why some people who are in a relationship with a Narcissist behave in a certain way.
I’m sharing this because I want people to realize how capable Narcissistic people are in twisting the narratives in order to surface as victims and put the blame on the real victims of abuse.
I am dedicating this to those who are still finding it difficult to find their way out and those who are feeling the animosity because their abusers have turned their friends and family against them.
The Closing Arguments
During the closing arguments of the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard Defamation Trial, I felt a little annoyed during the part when Amber’s lead lawyer, Ben Rottenborn, mockingly called Johnny as “the America’s favorite pirate” in a bad light.
It was annoying because he was pointing out that Johnny was completely different off-cam and that he’s a person who has a foul mouth and disrespectful behavior as caught on audio recordings and text messages.
I am not #TeamJohnny all the way but it’s very obvious who’s telling lies and exaggerated stories of Domestic Abuse even under oath.
I just felt like the spectators and the members of the jury were being made to look stupid since it’s quite obvious that Amber’s not being sincere and truthful.
This made it more apparent to me that it would be really difficult for people, who had not been in the same toxic situation, to understand the effects of these abusive people in our lives.
Johnny Must Have Been Taunted and Provoked
I must admit that I relate to Johnny’s experience and I know that he’s been taunted and provoked by Amber for a long time that’s why he turned into someone who acted weird and said foul languages against Amber.
It is something that is very difficult to explain and only experience would provide the best interpretation.
I am not defending Johnny and I’m not agreeing to some of the things that he did while still in the relationship but, the truth is, that’s the problem when you get into a relationship with someone like Amber.
People like her could make the devil come out of you eventually because of the way they treat you.
You won’t believe how sinister it is really until you find yourself in that same situation.
My Take on the Audio Recordings
We all heard the audio recordings, right?
And maybe you would all agree when I say that there’s no point in those recordings where Amber sounded like an abused victim.
She sounded more of an aggressor, as a matter of fact.
There’s even this one particular recording when she sounded demonic, the part where she’s insulting Johnny’s career and making fun of him.
I get goosebumps every time I hear it.
These recordings revealed the real side of Amber, the type who can be charming and beautiful on the outside but dangerous and very destructive behind closed doors.
She’s the kind who’s nice to you but only when it’s convenient for her but changes drastically the moment you defy her.
I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who witnessed how she changed her temperament from being Directly Examined to being Cross Examined when she took the witness stand.
This Trial Made Me Witness a Lot of Things I Experienced First-Hand
Before this Defamation Trial, I never thought that I would be able to see an actual slipping of the mask caught in 4k — that’s how Amber was on the witness stand, just in case you didn’t notice.
I also witnessed another awkward moment when watching her final testimony, during the rebuttal.
This was when she was trying her best to gather the sympathy of everyone, especially the jury, by crying foul against how people are portraying her, especially those on the Social Media.
She even shared about the death threats and the harsh comments that her baby was getting because of the trial.
I felt so bad for the baby who didn’t deserve any of the hate.
I must admit that it’s very dramatic and, in a way, convincing had I not known any better now.
But well, that’s how Narcissists operate.
They are the master manipulators of emotions and they are capable of going into greater lengths just to get what they want — whatever it takes.
Good Thing I Know Better Now
My experiences in dealing with abusers and manipulators taught me to become very careful with who I trust and believe.
I learned how to observe actions and emotions of people around me.
I learned the hard way that not everyone is good, kind, and has sincere intentions by nature.
Some of them are just there to pry and make your life miserable.
But this is not something that everyone could learn without having to experience dealing with these kinds of people.
Why It’s So Much Harder to Leave an Abuser Than You Think
This is the very same reason why it’s really hard to leave the relationship with a Narcissist.
Because after all the sh*t that they’ve put you through, they could still put on a show, shed Crocodile tears, and convince you that they’re just victims of the situation.
They could make it look like they’ve been trying their best to make things better but it is you who’s making it difficult for them.
Of course, it is always your fault!
They will always make a promise of a better future with you if you could just hold on and stay.
They blame you for everything and yet make you feel as if you’re the only one who could cure them.
And since you love the Narcissist, you would believe.
You would feel a little spark of hope coming through with their simple gestures, which makes you think that there’s still a chance and things could get better like he/she promised.
If you’re in this situation right now, trust me, it’s just bullsh*t so don’t you dare believe that.
My best advice is for you to run and don’t waste any more of your time.
You would hate me for saying this but the reality is, these people won’t change.
Unfortunately, they are not capable!
How Covert Narcissists Play
Going back to Johnny, I feel for him because I was once taunted and provoked.
That’s how Covert Narcissists play their games.
They mess with your head and continue to do so until you’ve reached your boiling point.
They will cheat on you and treat you with subtle disrespect until you could no longer sustain the pain and the insult.
And once you have finally decided to fight back, they would quickly call the attention of other people to tell them,
“Look at her! I told you she’s a bad person! I didn’t expect that she would treat me like that. Maybe she’s just been faking her kindness all this time.”
When in reality, you were just pushed to the limit.
Abuse Victims are Not Angels Either
For sure Johnny has his dark sides, too, and so do I.
I’m a peace loving person, a Social/Thinking Introvert, and I value an organized and harmonious life.
I hate the drama and conflicts because I easily get affected emotionally and it impacts my capability to become productive.
I have tendencies to overthink that’s why I’d prefer to keep things straight, easy, and simple.
However, in cases when someone crosses the line, I don’t stay back and I fight.
Fighting back doesn’t make you a bad person.
It only helps to show other people that you are not someone to mess with.
But if you are already feeling the negative impact of being associated with a Narcissist (i.e. you’re starting to have anger issues, extreme triggers, unhealthy mindset, etc.), it is best for you to stay away from the situation before it gets too late.
Trust me, there’s no way that all of your discoveries about the real personality of your abusive partner were just products of co-incidence or bad timing.
Your abuser is really messing with you in order to destroy you and empty whatever is good in you.
Find your way to escape so you could take your life back.
I’m glad that Johnny did and he didn’t just let Amber go without a fight.
All abusers deserved to be exposed!
Why Am I Saying This?
It’s because we need to understand the importance of boundaries in order to prevent abusive people from getting into our lives.
I didn’t have this before because I used to be so stupid and gullible.
But life gave me a bunch of lessons which forced me to put up my strongest boundaries yet.
That’s why now I no longer have problems speaking out because I know that I would be more susceptible to abuse if I would choose to keep quiet again.
I’m seeing the same on Johnny, he was forced to put everything out on public because Amber didn’t expect that he would ever get the courage to do so.
So never underestimate the amount of courage that you would get once you have discovered the real person behind your enemy.
If before, Johnny couldn’t do it because he’s still emotionally attached to Amber, now, he’s so done.
Amber’s just a sh*t on his bed (pun intended) and he doesn’t see any value in her anymore.
Johnny must have also realized that the Amber he used to love never really existed so there’s no reason for him to weep over a failed relationship because there was no real relationship to begin with.