Ever since I have survived a couple of abusive relationships, I have become a part of a community of people who aim to provide support for those who are starting with their healing journey after getting out of horrible relationships brought about by cheating, issues of infidelity, and Narcissistic abuse.
Most of the victims I encounter are experiencing anxiety, going through depression, and suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Some of them are emotionally drained and financially broke as a result of being in a relationship with a very abusive person, to the point that they want to commit suicide in order to put an end to the tormenting situation they are in.
Only a few of them would go by their real names because of shame and fear that someone might recognize them.
This is normal for any victim of abuse simply because they don’t want other people to know that they’re going through difficulties, especially their family whom they don’t want to worry about them.
And, instead, they speak with people like us who may be strangers to them but not stranger enough to know and understand what they are going through because we all have been in the same situation in one way or another.
A lot of us are experiencing torments in life but only a few of us are brave enough to come out and speak up.
This is because it’s not easy to do.
You have to be prepared for the whole world to judge you and/or laugh at you.
It’s a sad reality that’s why we’re losing a lot of them on suicides while some end up in mental institutions.
I am sharing this because I noticed a strong trend for the reason why some of these victims don’t speak up.
They all fear being hated, especially by the circle of their abusive ex-partner (i.e. family, friends, common acquaintances, etc.).
Now, this is easier said than done by it’s not impossible to do: When you are trying to heal your broken self, you must stop caring for what other people would say.
Because when you are broken, your self needs you the most.
So do everything that will fix you.
Accept that not everyone would understand because not everyone witnessed how you sufferred.
So don’t do it for them.
Do it for yourself!
Besides, it is expected that your ex-partner had already smeared your name to other people who blindly believe him/her.
In this situation, you have to build a stronger ground because the Smear Campaign could break your confidence.
RECOMMENDED READING: Smear Campaign: My Narcissistic Ex’s Version Of Why His Marriage Didn’t Work
Just shake it off because once you have recovered, you would realize that those people who believed your ex-partner are the same ones you don’t need in your life.
All you need is your healed self, own family, real friends, a new life, and a whole new perspective.
So if you know someone who is experiencing the same, allow him/her to grieve and show vulnerability.
Do not be a reason for someone to build walls that could lead to something more harmful.
Instead, be a reason for someone to build a revived faith in humanity.
Be kind and show compassion.